Heroes in a Half-Cell

Does anyone remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the crime-fighting relics from the sewers?  They were a staple in my childhood barrage of cartoon characters:  cool music, weapons, and best of all, they were gnarly surf-talkers in hopelessly land-locked places like Byron, Illinois.  Better yet, they were all named for Italian renaissance painters.  Finally someone I could relate to!  My town was predominantly of German descent, but mostly everyone was of mixed-breed.  No one had the same pride in their heritage as my brother and me.  There were no other Italians. 

Of course, me being the genius that I am, I decided to share TMNT with my kids.  They should have some sense of what I liked when I was a girl, yes?  So we watched the movie and then I was overjoyed to hear them playing turtles in the basement.  Then they were instructing neighborhood kids how to play turtles.  I thought that TMNT was going to make a comeback!

Then one night, while at work, my husband called me.  Mind you, this is two o'clock in the morning.  I panicked.  Someone was sick or hurt, undoubtedly, if they were able to wake him from his nightly hibernation.  Turns out, though, it was the Duluth Police Department that woke him from his slumber. 

The two oldest boys had snuck out again.  We knew they did it occasionally, and didn't really care because they did harmless things like go to the park and shoot baskets.  Big deal, especially when there were far worse things they could be doing.  We let it slide.  This time, however, their innocence had brought about The Law.  They had decided to go skateboarding up at the bank a block away from our house. 

No biggie, right?  I didn't think so either, until my husband started giggling.  Why in the holy hell was he laughing?  Our boys just got brought home by the police.  THIS WAS SERIOUS SHIT!  He kept laughing, so hard he couldn't talk.  Finally he got it together enough to speak.  The boys had been playing turtles up at the bank, he said.  YEAH, SO WHY THE FUCK ARE THE COPS BRINGING THEM HOME?  Was this a curfew thing, and if so, my tax dollars needed to be spent elsewhere.  No, he replied.  It was the ski masks they were wearing on the surviellance videos that worried the coppers.  I was silent.  Oh, yes, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wear masks.  Oh, yes. They skateboard.  BUT NOT AT THE BANK AT ONE AM!!!!!

Those two are going to Harvard, for sure.

But its one of those things.  Looking back on it, you just have to laugh.  Because if you don't, you will cry.