I like to think that all things are somehow connected. There is a certain electricity each individual possesses that connects or disconnects them from others, and there are a kind of invisible spiderwebs that interlink all our lives.
I find this to be true on a pretty much daily basis. I connect with people I would never have thought I would connect with in ways I rarely expect.
For example, just in random chit-chat with one of the nurses I work with, I discovered that she lives in my sister-in-law's old house.
I cared for my first boyfriend ever the other night in the ICU, even though I now live 400 miles from where I grew up.
I meet people with whom I am connected in bizarre ways, and some would argue that is the curse of the "small world." I agree that, yes, it is a small world. But Duluth is also a smaller town in a big, big world, and in order to maximize the benefit of this underlying system of links, we must behave in a way that is always becoming.
Because you never really know who you are going to find yourself connected to next, and you want to be looked upon favorably at all costs. Which makes it hard for folks like me, who sometimes come off as brash. But Nicki Minaj said it best "To all the bad girls, I can see your halos."
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Hey Pops!
My dad has finally got himself on the internet. I think he read my blog, and now I feel like I'm grounded. He is upset about some of the content here, and though he didn't cite anything in particular, I think he is referring to my name-calling my children. Freeloaders, ankle-biters, the gamut. I didn't think I would offend anyone with those names, as I certainly have more explicit ones.
He told me everyone can see everything I am posting. He told me that once its in cyberspace, it never goes away. I guess this would freak me out if I were running for Governor, but I gave up that goose after my 6th DUI.
Ha! Just kidding, Dad. I never got a DUI, even though sometimes I probably should have. Governor's out, but President isn't... Besides if I'd have gotten a DUI you would have been the first to know, in spite of your inability to forget or forgive any of my mistakes.
Now, my dad's usually right. I'll give him that, but he still has yet to stop me from doing something I really want to do. I must get that from some strange and distant relative, cuz I sure don't get it from him OR my mom.
He told me everyone can see everything I am posting. He told me that once its in cyberspace, it never goes away. I guess this would freak me out if I were running for Governor, but I gave up that goose after my 6th DUI.
Ha! Just kidding, Dad. I never got a DUI, even though sometimes I probably should have. Governor's out, but President isn't... Besides if I'd have gotten a DUI you would have been the first to know, in spite of your inability to forget or forgive any of my mistakes.
Now, my dad's usually right. I'll give him that, but he still has yet to stop me from doing something I really want to do. I must get that from some strange and distant relative, cuz I sure don't get it from him OR my mom.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Name your baby something smart, He'll have it all his life.
In the past 5 years, I have heard a lot of baby names. We have tried a lot of names out, as we have had 3 babies in the past 4 years. Ultimately, the name you pick sticks, and the child has the name for all his days. That is a heavy weight to bear.
For Zane, I loved his name before he was even conceived. It is short, masculine (no question if he is a little boy or a little girl, even before you meet him) and suits every age, from infancy to adulthood. There are few shaming nicknames that can come from his name. It was perfect, and luckily my husband agreed.
Nora was more of a challenge. For the longest time, we thought of naming her Linnea, after Brian's grandmother. Those were some big orthopedic shoes to fill, though, and I wanted her to have her own identity. She was nameless for a while, too. All the girl names he liked were too flowery, all the ones I liked were too androgynous. We did not agree on any of them. I don't remember agreeing to name her Nora (though he swears I did) but when I arrived back to my hospital room after my c-section, there she was in her bassinette, a card propped in the front proclaiming "Nora Louise Erickson." I didn't have any better ideas, so I went along with it.
Luna's name was the last name of a villian in a YA novel I read while pregnant. Actually his name was Gabriel Luna. And since I was forbidden from naming her Gabriel/Gabrielle, I settled for Luna. Luna has morphed into Luna Tuna, an unfortunate nickname that I should have forseen, but I don't mind. She will only mind after she is 13 or so, so I think we are good.
I have heard a lot of really dumb names in my day, though, working in Pediatrics, and formerly in Pediatrics in a Ghetto Hospital.
One woman had twin boys and had no idea what to name them until she looked at her menu selections: Lemonjello and Orangejello (said l'mongelo and o'rangelo) were born. Jesus.
Optimus Prime is a friend of a friend's little boy. I wonder if they are that big of nerds, or if they just thought that was the coolest name ever. Yes, I was named after a Transformer. Not any Transformer, but the leader of the Autobots. THAT CHILD WILL HAVE TO GET A JOB SOMEDAY!!!
My neighbors, who are whiter than white, have a little girl named Beyonce. I refuse to call her that, and my kids won't either. Its just too embarassing to say. We all call her Bea.
The best one, though, was the little boy who came to the ER many years ago. Shithead. Sure, they said it "She-they-ed" but it still read Shithead. The shit of it was, they had beaten him to death. So somewhere out there, there is a little headstone in a graveyard that reads "Shithead Smith." Jesus.
People really need to consider connotation and denotation when going through the baby name book, is all I am saying.
For Zane, I loved his name before he was even conceived. It is short, masculine (no question if he is a little boy or a little girl, even before you meet him) and suits every age, from infancy to adulthood. There are few shaming nicknames that can come from his name. It was perfect, and luckily my husband agreed.
Nora was more of a challenge. For the longest time, we thought of naming her Linnea, after Brian's grandmother. Those were some big orthopedic shoes to fill, though, and I wanted her to have her own identity. She was nameless for a while, too. All the girl names he liked were too flowery, all the ones I liked were too androgynous. We did not agree on any of them. I don't remember agreeing to name her Nora (though he swears I did) but when I arrived back to my hospital room after my c-section, there she was in her bassinette, a card propped in the front proclaiming "Nora Louise Erickson." I didn't have any better ideas, so I went along with it.
Luna's name was the last name of a villian in a YA novel I read while pregnant. Actually his name was Gabriel Luna. And since I was forbidden from naming her Gabriel/Gabrielle, I settled for Luna. Luna has morphed into Luna Tuna, an unfortunate nickname that I should have forseen, but I don't mind. She will only mind after she is 13 or so, so I think we are good.
I have heard a lot of really dumb names in my day, though, working in Pediatrics, and formerly in Pediatrics in a Ghetto Hospital.
One woman had twin boys and had no idea what to name them until she looked at her menu selections: Lemonjello and Orangejello (said l'mongelo and o'rangelo) were born. Jesus.
Optimus Prime is a friend of a friend's little boy. I wonder if they are that big of nerds, or if they just thought that was the coolest name ever. Yes, I was named after a Transformer. Not any Transformer, but the leader of the Autobots. THAT CHILD WILL HAVE TO GET A JOB SOMEDAY!!!
My neighbors, who are whiter than white, have a little girl named Beyonce. I refuse to call her that, and my kids won't either. Its just too embarassing to say. We all call her Bea.
The best one, though, was the little boy who came to the ER many years ago. Shithead. Sure, they said it "She-they-ed" but it still read Shithead. The shit of it was, they had beaten him to death. So somewhere out there, there is a little headstone in a graveyard that reads "Shithead Smith." Jesus.
People really need to consider connotation and denotation when going through the baby name book, is all I am saying.
Private questions
I'm thinking about private school next year for Ava. She is competitive in her academics, yet we are too poor to send her to the 15K a year (that's college, people!!!) prep school. The private we are looking at is about 1/3 the cost, and the test scores are the same. The thing is, she can start next year. Should we start her next year so she doesn't have to have the turmoil of going to middle school AND high school? (This is a k-12 private.) Should Casey go, even though she is enjoying her middle school? (She is going for H.S.--I see this in only a cost-effective way.)
I am perplexed by these questions, and think of them only in my own selfish ways. I want to do what is best for these girls. Any suggestions?
I am perplexed by these questions, and think of them only in my own selfish ways. I want to do what is best for these girls. Any suggestions?
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Odds are...
Today is my friend Kate's wedding. She has been so excited and so wrapped up in planning this day, I have hardly heard from her in the past 5 months. I can't be there--the wedding is in Florida--but I wish her the best. She will be a beautiful and happy bride, and I hope she and her spouse have many, many anniversaries.
The thing is, Kate is marrying a woman. I don't care, but so many people do, I can't believe it. Who would deny someone as sweet as Kate the only happiness she has known on THAT premise? It seems so selfish and silly.
I have come to know Kate's partner, Nicole, over the past couple months vicariously through facebook and her responses to Kate's posts. They seem truly in love. I have never thought her to be gruff or harsh, like so many husbands are to their wives. I have always been an "ally" but up until the past month only thought the term was "fag hag".
I just don't care what goes on in other peoples' bedrooms. That is of no concern to me. It doesn't affect me or my relationship with my husband, so I don't know why anyone would care. I also consider the odds. I have seven children. Odds are pretty good that one or more of them might be gay. I hardly think I would love them any less if they were. I might love them more, in fact, for their adversity.
Take that, gay bashers. Throw some rocks in your glass houses. Everything looks convoluted through the spiderwebs of broken glass. And if that's how you want to see the world, fine by me. But please keep your hateful "Marriage = Man + Woman" bumper stickers to yourself. They seem so immature and offensive. That would be like saying "Only blondes can have babies" and I think there was a little German guy with a funny moustache who tried that once.
Try loving the folks you don't understand. It makes the world that much of a nicer place. And it takes far less energy, so you could conserve your efforts for truly important causes like preventing child abuse. Just sayin'...
The thing is, Kate is marrying a woman. I don't care, but so many people do, I can't believe it. Who would deny someone as sweet as Kate the only happiness she has known on THAT premise? It seems so selfish and silly.
I have come to know Kate's partner, Nicole, over the past couple months vicariously through facebook and her responses to Kate's posts. They seem truly in love. I have never thought her to be gruff or harsh, like so many husbands are to their wives. I have always been an "ally" but up until the past month only thought the term was "fag hag".
I just don't care what goes on in other peoples' bedrooms. That is of no concern to me. It doesn't affect me or my relationship with my husband, so I don't know why anyone would care. I also consider the odds. I have seven children. Odds are pretty good that one or more of them might be gay. I hardly think I would love them any less if they were. I might love them more, in fact, for their adversity.
Take that, gay bashers. Throw some rocks in your glass houses. Everything looks convoluted through the spiderwebs of broken glass. And if that's how you want to see the world, fine by me. But please keep your hateful "Marriage = Man + Woman" bumper stickers to yourself. They seem so immature and offensive. That would be like saying "Only blondes can have babies" and I think there was a little German guy with a funny moustache who tried that once.
Try loving the folks you don't understand. It makes the world that much of a nicer place. And it takes far less energy, so you could conserve your efforts for truly important causes like preventing child abuse. Just sayin'...
Friday, September 9, 2011
Anniversary
Where were you when the Twin Towers crumbled?
If you are in your late 20's or older, I am sure that day resonates in your memory, especially today, on the 10th anniversary of this disaster. I remember being in RT school, in a fog, and trying to muddle my way through my ventilator lab with my partner, Theresa Fanara. Our instructor told us that the World Trade Center had been hit by an airplane, and the only thought that I had at that moment was "Damn, it must be foggy in New York today." I lived in such a bubble that even after he announced the second airplane had hit the towers, I still thought this was an innocent thing, but that these pilots must have some serious troubles if they are crashing into buildings that everyone knows are there.
I was oblivious to terrorism or to the broad label of "terrorist activity" that encompasses still today, anything destructive done by anyone of Muslim descent. I still kind of am. I like my bubble, but the walls have become a little clearer lately.
No, I don't panic when I see anyone of Middle Eastern heritage like some people. But I guess I am a little more aware of the world and the things that are going on around me. In fact, just yesterday, I had a perfectly sober conversation with a complete stranger about the droughts in Texas and how they were affecting the prices of beef.
What 9/11 taught me was to pay more attention. I am sure that wasn't the lesson the "terrorists" were aiming to teach us Americans. I'm certain it had something to do with learning our place in the hierarchy of our world, but I didn't get that. Not many folks did. It was just another reason to hate another ethnic group.
I feel for the folks who lost people in 9/11. I feel for our country as a general whole. Yes, it was a blow, and yes, it was met with blind opposition ala George W. Bush. But I firmly believe if we had paid more attention to what was going on outside our own little bubble, the whole thing could have been avoided and/or deterred.
On this, the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I will remember. I remember where I was and what I was doing. Those are things I will never forget. But I also realize that it was the "Me" and the "I" mentality that brought on these attacks, and that is a lesson most refuse to learn, even at such great cost.
If you are in your late 20's or older, I am sure that day resonates in your memory, especially today, on the 10th anniversary of this disaster. I remember being in RT school, in a fog, and trying to muddle my way through my ventilator lab with my partner, Theresa Fanara. Our instructor told us that the World Trade Center had been hit by an airplane, and the only thought that I had at that moment was "Damn, it must be foggy in New York today." I lived in such a bubble that even after he announced the second airplane had hit the towers, I still thought this was an innocent thing, but that these pilots must have some serious troubles if they are crashing into buildings that everyone knows are there.
I was oblivious to terrorism or to the broad label of "terrorist activity" that encompasses still today, anything destructive done by anyone of Muslim descent. I still kind of am. I like my bubble, but the walls have become a little clearer lately.
No, I don't panic when I see anyone of Middle Eastern heritage like some people. But I guess I am a little more aware of the world and the things that are going on around me. In fact, just yesterday, I had a perfectly sober conversation with a complete stranger about the droughts in Texas and how they were affecting the prices of beef.
What 9/11 taught me was to pay more attention. I am sure that wasn't the lesson the "terrorists" were aiming to teach us Americans. I'm certain it had something to do with learning our place in the hierarchy of our world, but I didn't get that. Not many folks did. It was just another reason to hate another ethnic group.
I feel for the folks who lost people in 9/11. I feel for our country as a general whole. Yes, it was a blow, and yes, it was met with blind opposition ala George W. Bush. But I firmly believe if we had paid more attention to what was going on outside our own little bubble, the whole thing could have been avoided and/or deterred.
On this, the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I will remember. I remember where I was and what I was doing. Those are things I will never forget. But I also realize that it was the "Me" and the "I" mentality that brought on these attacks, and that is a lesson most refuse to learn, even at such great cost.
Right Wing Clowns
I rarely use places like Facebook or my blog to tout my political views, but there is a face on the horizon that looms like Pennywise the Clown--you remember the fanged clown from Stephen King's "It"? Possibly the scaries motherfucker ever, aside from maybe this Michelle Bachmann. She is terrifying.
This woman thinks we can "pray the gay away." Ok, so lots of right wingers believe this. But it goes beyond this. She also thinks the hurricanes our coasts have been enduring as of later are the result of the U.S.'s crumbling economy? I have a very active imagination, and I cannot fathom any way that these two things can even be related, much less one the direct result of the other.
Just the fact that there are folks out there who support this kind of fruitcake is scary enough. The fact that she is a political front-runner does not speak well of Americans' education or common sense. Its not so common, after all, it turns out.
No wonder all the sane nations out there in the world think Americans are all morons. Look at who we vote for. Look at who we vote against. Why can't we get a politician in office who has a firm grasp on the reality of our problems and some real solutions, instead of these cockamamie dimwits who think "We all float down here"?
This woman thinks we can "pray the gay away." Ok, so lots of right wingers believe this. But it goes beyond this. She also thinks the hurricanes our coasts have been enduring as of later are the result of the U.S.'s crumbling economy? I have a very active imagination, and I cannot fathom any way that these two things can even be related, much less one the direct result of the other.
Just the fact that there are folks out there who support this kind of fruitcake is scary enough. The fact that she is a political front-runner does not speak well of Americans' education or common sense. Its not so common, after all, it turns out.
No wonder all the sane nations out there in the world think Americans are all morons. Look at who we vote for. Look at who we vote against. Why can't we get a politician in office who has a firm grasp on the reality of our problems and some real solutions, instead of these cockamamie dimwits who think "We all float down here"?
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