Cruel vs Coddled?

Last night a friend called me for parenting advice at 12:30.  She may have been a little drunk, but whatevs.  I was happy to provide her with some ideas for getting her kids (ages 9 & 7) to be a little more independent in the morning before school, but I think she thought my methods rather cruel.

Apparently some people wake their kids up.  I have very rarely had to do this, and when I did, it wasn't the kindest way to do it.  No gentle knock on the bedroom door, no caress, not even a soft voice.  Nope.  I hollered up the stairs to "GET UP!  YOU ARE GONNA BE LATE!" once.  When that did not produce a flurry of footfalls, I retrieved my marbles from the freezer. 

This was a long-tempered response to oversleeping.  I tried ice in the bed, but was displeased with the wet sheets that resulted.  Also, it was just too easy for the little mongerels to roll away from the ice cubes.  I found that marbles work far more effectively when kept in the freezer.  They maintain their cold, don't melt, and roll with the children's bodies as they squirm to escape.  Its very infrequent that I have to bust them out at all though.

My school-aged kids know what time they have to rise in order to complete the things they need to do in order to be ready for school.  They get up by themselves, get ready for school, and get themselves out the door in time to catch the school bus.  I made it very clear that if they miss the bus, its their own fault and thus they will not get a ride to school from me, they will be walking.  Since they know Mama don't talk the talk unless she walks the walk, they have only missed the bus once.

But what about their breakfast, she asks.  I almost laugh.  These kids have been getting their own cereal/pop tarts/frozen waffles since they were 4.  We have cooked breakfast only on Sundays, when I make bacon or sausage and belgian waffles.  It serves as both breakfast and lunch, and is a pretty special occaision.  I told her to just let her kids know she would no longer be serving them their cereal as they lounge on the couch and watch television.  At that age, kids should be able to manage that, right?  She seemed pretty horrified, but I guarantee that requiring children to take responsibility for themselves leads to self-motivated, proud kids who are also quite self-sufficient.  It also results in a mommy who is slightly less insane, since she can manage to have a cup of coffee and read the paper in the morning, something my dear friend had missed.

I don't coddle my kids at all.  But I don't really think expecting two fifth graders and a fourth grader to do a little time management is unreasonable.  Maybe I am cruel.  But I think it works.