Insomnia

I don't think I did enough today. I am usually in bed asleep by 9, and now here it is 1120 and I'm up and attem. I finished my book (Phantom Prey--John Sanford. 6 out of 10) and did all the laundry, which included the pairing of all the socks. God, how I hate the socks. I'm thinking about starting a new book (Soul Catcher by Michael White) but I'm frightened I won't like it and will, in turn, lose respect for the author who is also my grad school program director.

I've thought about writing some poetry, but nothing stirs my emotions these days. I feel shitty about myself, for the most part. I always do when I eat a bunch of crap. I know it before I do it, while I'm doing it, and yet I still do it. Goodbye large movie theatre popcorn. Goodbye Culver's chicken tenders and large iced tea. Fuck, maybe its the tea keeping me up, not the big greasy glop in my gut. Tea has caffeine, right?

Maybe its because this state shutdown seems to be going on longer than it should and I don't know if I am going to get unemployment or not. Maybe there is just too much shit going on in my head!

Any way you look at it, I can't sleep. I'm not doing anything productive. I ate a bunch of crap and feel shitty for it. I really have to work on this...so I'm going to turn to my stack of library books and pick one and hope its dull enough to put me to sleep. Wish me luck and only a few sheep in my counting lineup.